Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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