it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
