I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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