You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
