She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
