i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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