I seem to have left my pride at pride
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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