I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
two words...techno handjob
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
