holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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