oh god the rape fog is back!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
