goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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