thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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