I don't think brook has ever known best
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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