that's an acceptable place to lick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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