My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
