best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
