wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
