As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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