The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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