What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
