imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
