if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
