I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
