does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
