Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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