I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
