i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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