Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
