it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
