watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it glows. i had to have it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
