AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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