So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
there is glitter all over my balls
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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