Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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