Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
