this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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