I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
