Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
