How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
