My first STD was from a foam party
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
