Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
