I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
