I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
