'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
