He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
