Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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