Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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