Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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