Ambien. No doubt about it.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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