That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
