yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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