dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
